Children seem naturally good at play. I love watching them with the bubbles at the 9:01 service on the lawn. But somewhere along the way to adulthood, many of us lose that sense of playfulness. Even while standing on the sidelines of an elementary school soccer game, you can hear the adults shouting in tones that make it seem like the World Cup finals instead of a delightful afternoon of play. In his book “Play-full Life” Jaco Hamman describes the enemies of playfulness: “criticism, control, compulsion, competition, conflict, and consumption.”
Many of us are inhibited by the first one: criticism. Even if you have received 10 compliments, the one piece of criticism can sting and linger in your consciousness. We want to excel at our careers, to become excellent parents, to practice a healthy lifestyle, and to develop a deep faith. But none of us does all of this well all of the time. While criticism may bring important issues to our attention, sometimes we internalize the criticism and give too much air time to the inner critic. Hammon points out that we can balance the voice of the inner critic with the voice of the inner innovator, that wise, mature part of ourselves.
The scriptures promise us that God forgives us when we make mistakes and embraces us with compassion when we fail. God’s love always wins. The scriptures tell us countless stories of men and women who were imperfect people, flawed humans, who were vehicles for God’s transforming love and grace. Remembering that we are God’s beloved can help us silence the inner critic or force that critic to sit on the back row of our brain.
I remember when we first moved into our home and I was trying to landscape and garden, but I really didn’t know what I was doing. I felt pressure to have a gorgeous yard because my parents spent much of their free time tending the plants, flowerbeds, and lawn, and it always looked amazing. Standing in my backyard with the landscaper, I asked her what we could do about the grass. She replied, “The grass is just a place to play – to run and play – that’s all it is.” That’s been 25 years, and I still remember it when I walk the yard in the morning to check on the flowers and vegetables. The voice of my inner critic takes a back seat to the delight of playing in the yard.
I love how my colleague and our former pastor used to say “There is nothing you can do to make God love you more. And there is nothing you can do to make God love you less.”
This summer, I hope you will set aside the critic and let your playful self enjoy the wonder of God’s creation!
Grace and Peace,
Carla
