How many languages do you speak? Theologian Eugene Peterson* claims that we all know three languages. The first language is the one you learn to speak even before you know words. You coo at your mother or cry to express hunger. After we become articulate, we use this language to convey love to a boyfriend/girlfriend or to express affection to a pet. Language One is the language of human connection and intimacy. It relies on tone of voice and a raise of the eyebrow. We call on a grandchild with the word “honey” or a spouse with a name we whisper only in private.

“The doctor says I have a couple of swollen lymph nodes” my husband told me after his annual physical. “Probably due to a sinus infection but he wants to see me again if they don’t go away.”  So we waited.  And they didn’t go away.  So more tests. And more waiting. And more tests.  And waiting. 

My 3-year-old grandson walks over to his 1-month-old sister, picks up her hand, wraps her tiny fingers into a fist and reaches out his clenched hand to give her a little fist bump. Then he kisses her on the head and runs off to play Spiderman. She does not yet know his name or who he is and yet his small acts of love are shaping her life already. Psychoanalyst Christopher Bollas says “We learn the grammar of our being before we learn language.”

I look out and a beautiful woman who has been sitting alone for five years is now sitting in a different section, laughing knowingly with a group of friends. A grandmother on the third row is reaching over the edge of the wooden pew to display her shiny amethyst ring to a Read More...

A year ago this week, I was buying a new suit to interview for the position of Senior Minister at the church where I had spent most of my adult life. (In case I needed new clothes to impress you!) My stomach was in knots. I was hopeful and excited. I still feel butterflies as I remember the night the board voted to call me. I was pinching myself and my heart was pounding in my throat!

Do you remember the story about the woman sitting in a lecture when the speaker announced  “that the average Episcopalian invites a friend to church once every 21 years”?  And the lady exclaimed “Oh, good, I don’t have to do that for another 11 years.”  There are good reasons for not inviting folks. 

During these 40 days of Lent, many of us look for ways to deepen the spiritual journey. One way is to pray, to have a conversation with the Divine One. But getting started with prayer isn’t always so easy. First you need to get yourself in the right frame of mind. One way that I like to pray is to first open a book

I don’t ever remember this happening before.  Ash Wednesday will fall on Valentine’s Day.  And Easter will fall on April Fool’s Day.  Or perhaps I should say the reverse:  Valentine’s will fall on Ash Wednesday and April Fool’s will fall on Easter.  Surely the observance of the Christian traditions of Ash Wednesday Read More...

As I write, it is the 25th anniversary of a snow day in Telluride, Colorado, where the temperature hovered around zero, I took that risk we call marriage. The first year was the most difficult.

When my son was 10 he refused to practice the guitar. I told his teacher he wanted to quit. “Good,” said the teacher, “I want him to quit also.” This was not one of my finer “mother” moments. Should we push harder, I wondered?

I am excited about 2018.  My baby, God willing, will graduate from college. Our clergy positions at the church will finally be all filled.  The church board is moving forward with a solid vision for reaching out to our community. What are you hoping for in 2018? 

There is nothing quite like that night. The sanctuary goes dark and one candle is lit, until the room radiates a holy light. When the gathered community sings Silent Night on that candlelit night, even the biggest skeptic can believe.

After we stuffed ourselves with corn bread dressing, oyster dressing, turkey and sweet potatoes with browned marshmallows on top served on aunt Millie’s Franciscan Apple china, we lingered at the elegant dinning room table for hours telling stories and laughing. After the sun set, Dad said we were leaving but then Millie made turkey/cream cheese/cranberry sandwiches and we began the two-hour goodbye until finally we pulled out of the driveway, aunt Millie standing there waving until we were out of sigh

As you eat the last “fun size” snickers, take down the spider webs from the shrubs and store the goblin costumes away, your mind might drift towards the Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings on the horizon.  And these celebrations can arouse anxiety and dread.