I sat on the floor of the basement going through dusty cardboard boxes of handwritten letters, wedding shower cards, and baby shower cards. What began as a task of drudgery blossomed into an infusion of love. The memory box did not contain, but pointed to the gift of friendship offered decades ago. Some of the friends are no longer among us. Some drifted away, and others drew closer in. Chapters of our lives contain reservoirs of friendship. I emerged from the basement floor feeling buoyed by the cast of friends who carried me through life’s turning points. They were like a firm log across a mountain stream.
Sometimes friendship can be hard to cultivate. Maybe we don’t come by the skills naturally. It can be risky to invite someone for coffee. Maybe they are not interested. It can be risky to say hello to someone at the gym. Maybe they don’t have time to visit. Dr. Marisa Franco describes this as the “liking gap.” We don’t realize that folks like us more than we realize. One of the miracles of church is how people form friendships that last a lifetime: through mission trips, Community Camp, ministry teams, choir, and small groups. Their lives are woven together in life-giving and life-saving ways. They become more than friends, more of a sacred shelter for one another.
In a podcast, “No Small Endeavor,” Dr. Franco says that friendships help us regulate stress. She says that of the 106 factors that predict depressive symptoms, “having someone to confide in is the number one preventer.” I find that amazing. Franco goes on to say that “when people evaluated how steep a hill was, they saw it as less steep when they were with a friend.” Friendship is more than a balm for the body and a calming force in the mind; it is also a spiritual wonder, a window into the divine.
Jesus said to his followers in the gospel of John, “I no longer call you servants but friends.” What greater compliment might Jesus have offered them? He elevates friendship. And he lets them know that he desires to share life with them. To call someone a friend is to walk alongside. It’s a radical notion to imagine friendship with God. We might wonder: “Who me? Isn’t there a liking gap between me and God? Or does God actually call me friend?”
Grace and Peace,
Carla
